The following piece was written after watching the relationship of two longtime lovers disintegrate. I imagined an internal dialog between the logical and emotional. It was originally published in E.MAG-The Electronic Magazine.
YOU KNOW SHE IS IN LOVE WITH HIM DON’T YOU?
of course she is. it is so obvious to anyone who just looks at her.
Broken statue outside Cleveland Twist building, Cleveland, OH
DOES HE SEE IT?
i think that he does but chooses not to acknowledge it.
WHY WOULD HE NOT WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT?
because then it would mean that he is worthy of love. I don’t think that he believes that he is worthy.
MAYBE IN SOME BIZARRE WAY HE IS TRYING TO MORTIFY HIS SOUL AS A WAY OF PROTECTION?
that’s possible. but i don’t think that it is a mortification so much as a feeling of not being worthy of being loved and thus being unable to express that which he seeks.
WELL THERE WAS “HER.”
that whole episode in his life, to my point of view, is the prime mold for who he is today. you where around then. i only got things second hand. were things as bad as he lets on?
YES. SHE WAS A BITCH, PURE AND SIMPLE.
do you feel that in looking at him and the effort that he put into that relationship, that he has built up a wall purposely to keep himself from getting too close to someone for fear that she will rip the beating heart out of his body, show it to him and them crush it under her stiletto?
VERY POSSIBLE. HE WAS VERY HURT BY HER AND HER DECEPTION AND I BELIEVE THAT HE HOLDS BACK FROM SHOWING HOW HE REALLY FEELS BECAUSE OF IT. I THINK THAT THE RESIDUAL HAS DEFINITELY COLORED HIS RELATIONSHIPS SINCE.
i do not believe that she would purposely set out to hurt him. that is unless he asked her to in the midst of passion!
YOU HAVE A POINT THERE.
well, what can i say.
NOT TOO MUCH.
thanks.
OH WELL.
well the only thing that i can say about her is that her motives appear to be pure.
I THINK THAT WHAT HE NEEDS IS STABILITY, AND I DO NOT THINK THAT SHE CAN GIVE HIM THAT.
well, stability in his life is the one thing that he is lacking. he lives life in a constant state of flux and that is not good for a persons’ long term mental health.
I AGREE
that question remains, do they stay together or is it over?
50-50
it’s too bad, but i think that you are more right than wrong.
YOU KNOW, SHE IS THE TYPE OF WOMAN WHO CAN BE VERY CARING AND NURTURING. IT SEEMS TO ME, THOUGH, THAT SHE HAS NOT HAD ANY GOOD EXAMPLES. I MEAN LOOK AT HER MOM. NOT ONLY IS SHE A NOSY WOMAN, BUT IN PLAIN ENGLISH, SHE’S A BITCH. WHAT IS SHE SUPPOSE TO LEARN FROM THAT TYPE OF EXAMPLE? HOW TO DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY?
well i heard him say once that it was to her mom’s advantage to keep her stupid and dependent. the one thing that you can say is that he has shown her a better way.
YES, BETTER WAYS TO DO “IT.”
touché. no, i’m serious here. i can see her as the type of person that would feed a hummingbird from her hand.
IT’S TOO BAD.
what i do not understand is why he will do the things that he does for her when he has said that he has no intentions of furthering the relationship beyond where they are now.
WHICH IS?
they go out, have sex and bitch about her mom. that last part i’m putting in because it seems to me that it is a constant source of friction.
WELL, I HOPE THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM THAT THEY WILL BOTH BE HAPPY WITH THE RESULT.
happiness is such a precious commodity that if the two of them are able to find it together then they should b be encouraged at every step. if, as i suspect, the motives between the two are less than pure then the result will be tarnished and impure. this will only lead to heartache for one or both.
I SECOND THAT NOTION. WELL, TIME TO GET WORKING. BY THE WAY, YOU HEARD THE LATEST ON THE BROWNS?
Through the Mill 